Daniel 的禱告

先談一些背景：

這段片段是星期六晚用3GS拍的（所以影不到人），我站在房門（所以收音較困難）。細細這幾晚都要和哥哥一起睡，所以會聽到她不停說話。

一星期前，陪Daniel 踏單車時被單車籃刷傷了手碗，這兩天和他洗澡時，他看到傷口，以為我和他因濕疹所抓的傷口一樣，會常常流血（因他結疤後又會抓傷，特別是在半夜），所以他會說我不用再流血。

娘子最近會跟Daniel 提起她重新出來工作，每次他都會說不好。星期五時娘子問他，她可以什麼時候出來工作，他說等我們冇錢的時候。

現在聽聽他的禱文吧（請將音量盡量較大）：



阿們。

我聽到後很感動。娘子每晚都會和他祈禱，他這篇禱文是模仿娘子的，但內容絕對是原創，單是在禱告中想起我已夠他老爸感動半天。

希望你們能一直懷著單純的信心、和關懷人的心向天父祈禱。

最美妙的禱告

這個聖誕，基本上都是用在照顧兩個小孩和安排節目，特別是給Daniel。媽媽不在家，娘子照顧孩子的擔子重了，能幫的都會儘量幫。結果，當然是有假放等於冇假放，加上細細昨晚因呼吸不順而哭閙了一陣子，大家都睡不好，更是疲憊。人一倦，心靈便格外乏力。

今天晚上，娘子負責陪Daniel 睡覺，而我則坐在廳上網。講完故事後，通常我們都會祈禱的。今天晚上，娘子請Daniel 跟她一句一句地去祈禱。當聽到Daniel 祈禱的聲音，沉睡著的心，恍惚被喚醒了，那是我聽過最美妙的禱告。不是因為豐富的內容，而是那單純的心。

相信天父亦喜歡聽到這個祈禱。

快一年了

今天在iPhone 中見到自己在Notes 中寫了以下一段：

Things I need to pray for:
1. Concentration at work
2. Faith in conceiving one more member in our family
3. Strength for leading worship team in the upcoming year

這是寫於上年7月27日，原來用這部iPhone已快一年了，時間過得真快。

關於那三件祈禱事項，第一件，算是進步了，起碼已沒有再在工作時聽 podcast，雖然還會時不時上網。

至於第二件，不用說了吧，還有三天，細細便要出來。不敢說充滿信心，準備充足，但總算是用信心踏出了一步，亦會／要用信心走下去。

第三件，對我來說，是超額完成。最初擔心支持不了，或不知怎樣帶領，但當一路帶下去時，神給了我不同的靈感去提議，去改善。要感謝神，敬拜隊的隊員都很體量我的處境，娘子亦一直支持著在星期四照顧Daniel一整天，才能在今天暫時功成身退，從台前退到幕後。

原來寫blog 也寫了13 個月了（由上年6月6日開始），每一次回望過去，都是恩典。

Round 5 - 4:1

這個星期一直有咳嗽，加上想早點起來祈禱，故晚上都早睡了，沒有精神時間寫Blog。

經過這幾天以禱告開始的生活，初步發覺的分別，是對需要代禱的事敏感了，如同事的丈夫的身體，娘子的疲累。當然，實際祈禱的時間還是不多（今早剛開始祈禱，Daniel 便從睡房走出來，不消一會，便要說阿門，幫手睇B），所謂：「多禱告，多有能力；少禱告，少有能力。」現在生活上的能力仍然是小的。但是，總算有個開始。

Round 2 - 1:1

In the book 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management, the author mentioned that it takes 21 days to form a habit. So, to build my praying habit, I started to find a time slot and place to pray yesterday.

Round 1 (11/8): It was miserable. I fell so hard spiritually that I dare not open the computer and write down the result. One of the reasons is I was not feeling well. In any case, the result was 0:1. No prayer made.

Today, I woke before the alarm was on. I manage to spare some time and have a short prayer in the morning. This is the time slot that I find most suitable for praying, when no body is around and my mind starts to wake up and plan for the day. Thus far, the result is 1:1.

So, my prayer is eventually I can build up a habit of praying at the beginning of the day.

Why I don't pray (often)

One of the books I bought in this year's book fair is Too Busy Not To Pray by Bill Hybels. You can tell from the title why I bought this book.

In Chapter 3 "God is able", the author mentioned that he didn't want to pray because he didn't believe God is omnipotent at the bottom of his heart. I paused after reading it. I asked myself why I don't pray much. After a short reflection, my answer is quite different from his.

First, I am on the opposite side. I believe He is omnipotent, to an extent that He knows all my need. He knows better than I do. As a result, I don't know what to say in front of Him. I know He loves to hear my prayer. But a lot of time, I just don't think what I say really matter.

Experience is another issue. Having been a Christian for more than 20 years, I can't remember if there is any praying moment that is very memorable, like feeling myself filled with Holy Spirit after praying. Worst still, there were several times when I got so focus on my prayer, I got some weird experience that is almost terrifying. I keep trying. And the enthusiasm keep dropping.

I believe the way I communicate with my parents (especially my father) has a direct impact on how I communicate with God. This is a natural projection, I guess. Since I didn't know how to communicate with my dad in the past, I also feel there is some distance between God and I. That also make praying difficult. At the bottom of my heart, I feel like talking to air instead of God.

Of course, I won't give up. That's why I bought the book and see if there is any insight and practice I can follow.

I know it takes prayer to sustain my family, to raise Daniel and be his role model. I pray that this time, I can get closer to God.